Sometimes my feelings fail my politics

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when my khala in lahore finds a husband and new home for her daughter

in upper manhattan but shames me for leaving my family in our old

house and my country in ruins because i choose to study work walk

weep in massachusetts, i do feel guilty

                                                                because some migrations are worthier than others

when my white liberal friend is hurt because of my joke about her brown

fetishes and savior complex after i cook our dinner with too many desi

spices for her delicate taste, i do apologize

   because some tears are worthier than others

when i sit amongst feminists and talk so very glibly about how anti-ableism

and trans-hate are definitely feminist issues because we must must

must defy all kinds of body-shaming, i do learn to practice self-love

but only after painfully waxing the southasianhair off of me

   because some bodies are worthier than others

when nana abbu talks in english about colonialism and history and persian male

poets, and nani ami from under her lihaaf speaks of daal and family and allah and

compassion, i listen more closely to the verses of omar khayyam

because some knowledges are worthier than others

when white gay folks in america (who pushed out the poor-looking

muslim-looking queers from their annual body-love party)

weep over each other’s coming-out stories full of curses and tears and

heartbreaks, i too listen and weep in unison

because some oppressions are worthier than others

and when my uncle (who slapped his daughter for not leaving her

hymen untouched till marriage) tells me how he was spat

at 3 times that week, and called a terrorist 15 times

that day, i do sympathize silently

because some traumas are worthier than others

how do we unfeel feelings that we have for a million years been forced to feel over and over and over and over and over again and over and over and over and over and over again and over and over again?


One thought on “Sometimes my feelings fail my politics

    aliaazmat said:
    July 31, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Reblogged this on aliaazmat and commented:
    loved this.

    Liked by 1 person

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